Discover Your Authentic Identity & Purpose   -   Get The Book!

FAQ #9: Healthy Self-Care

Welcome. Today we’re going to talk about Healthy Self-Care. 


Introduction to Healthy Self-Care

Today we’re continuing our countdown of the top ten most frequently asked questions about the Pursuit of Identity and Purpose. At number nine, we have the topic of healthy self-care.

Self-Care is a little bit of a catch-22. It made it on the list because most clients and the people I talk to don’t ask about self-care very often, but I have to recommend and prescribe self-care to almost everyone I have spoken with.

So, typically people are on either end of the spectrum. Most super-macho guys think self-care is touchy-feely and not something they need to do. People on the other end of the spectrum are so enthralled and engaged with caring for others that they often overlook their needs.

Self-Care Mindset

It becomes a prescription for taking care of ourselves, and if you think about self-care in the right frame of mind, you’ll realize that taking care of yourself allows you to be a better service to others.

We’re going to talk about what self-care is, what it isn’t, at least in my opinion, my perspective on those things, why it’s essential, and then give you a couple of examples of things you might think to do.

When people think about self-care, they see someone wrapped in a plush robe with cucumbers on their eyes being tended to by people in a spa. For some people, that might be self-care: taking that time off, going off for a day to a hotel, and not worrying about anything.

That’s a fairly decent description for some people, but for other people, myself included, that isn’t very attractive to me; I mean, I never say no to a massage, don’t get me wrong, but the idea of taking that much time away to sit there and let someone else fuss over me, that just doesn’t fit my personality style, more importantly, it doesn’t work my values.

Defining Your Self-Care

The first lesson in self-care is your definition. Your description and the activities surrounding your self-care regime must be values-based. This means that one of my values, just off the top of my head, is adventure. I want a lot of experience, which takes on many different looks and executions. Still, anything that involves adventure or excitement is one of my values, so when I get a chance to do those adventurous things, that recharges me, and I feel great afterward.

Planning Self-Care

So, how I apply that value to my self-care is when I plan and schedule my self-care activities, I try to find something that has a little bit of adventure so my vacations are the same way; I’m not the type to sit on a beach somewhere idle, that’s not my idea of a fun rejuvenating vacation because I have that vital need for adventure.

Scheduling Self-Care

So, when I scheduled my self-care Sundays, which is when I like to have an event I want to go and hike, that’s one of the best ways that I have found to recharge myself recenter myself, and you know, feed my soul, if you will, which is the purpose behind self-care. Again, allowing yourself to be a better service to others means taking care of yourself first. 

Self-Care Considerations

I strongly recommend that your self-care is time that you spend alone. When we involve others, we get distracted, and the purpose of self-care is to think of it as emotional sleep; it gives your emotional self a chance to unplug entirely and only focus on yourself.

Self-Care is Selfish

Suppose you walk with someone else, which might be excellent and enjoyable. You may look forward to taking your evening walks with someone, a friend or spouse, or whatever; those might be a great walk, but that doesn’t qualify as self-care if you’re involved in listening to that other person’s needs and tending to them and taking the direction that they want to take, and walking at the pace that they want to walk at, do you see what I’m getting at here? It takes the self-care component out of that and becomes a task, even if it’s a task you enjoy.

So, first and foremost, when planning your self-care activities, think of something you can do alone to concentrate on your needs and get inside your head.

Timing Self-Care

Then think about when, so I am very much a morning person; I enjoy, as I mentioned before, that hike; I like to do that as soon as the sun comes up partially because my average body temperature is about 150 degrees, so I want to get in my activities early in the morning while it’s still cool during the day.

But I enjoy the morning; I always have, so that time of day is as essential to me as the activity, so I have an activity that I love at a time of day that I love.

Navigating Self-Care

Another component to consider is where, so I strongly recommend that your self-care time be spent in nature as much as possible. If it’s the garden in your backyard, fantastic; if it’s your front porch surrounded by potted plants, that’s great too; watch the birds, listen to the bugs, whatever.

But ‘where’ is very important. If you are energized and recharged at the beach, then take the time to drive yourself down to the beach at the time of day you most enjoy, at sunrise or sunset or in the middle of the day.

What. When. Where.

Then consider that you need to schedule that: don’t wait. Most people wait until they are completely burned out and exhausted. Only then do they take steps to worry about themselves and take care of themselves; your self-care and your need for self-care is a barometer for your overall well-being.

“I plan to make sure it’s a part of my daily routine, like sleep, food, and exercise; taking care of yourself is essential to becoming your true self and finding your true identity. If you schedule your self-care activities, take my #selfcaresundays as an example. I don’t spend the entire day just thinking about myself, but I do at least one self-focused activity or self-focused thing on Sundays. At least on Sundays, I make sure that I do something, and I don’t wait until I’m burned out and completely exhausted to do those things.

So, I hope this was helpful for you; if you have questions, of course, hit me in the comments, and as always, you can find me at and don’t forget to go ahead and subscribe to this channel so that you can get the rest of the videos about this topic.

Ready to kick your Self-Care into high gear and transform your life? Don’t go it alone! Take the first step towards a happier, more connected life – book your call now! Schedule a Strategy Call with Charles today and get personalized guidance to help you put yourself first.

Okay, take care


{"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}