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How to Get Along After Divorce: Sparing Your Kids the Heartache

Written By Charles Browne  |  Boundaries, Divorce  |  0 Comments

Navigating how to get along after divorce impacts the couple and the rest of the family, such as in-laws, extended family, and neighbors. The emotional challenges and necessity to choose sides can be especially difficult when children are involved. For your children’s sake, it is crucial to maintain a healthy relationship with your ex-partner, even if it demands extra effort and emotional resilience.

How to Get Along After Divorce

Understanding the Impact on Children

Children often struggle to cope with the emotional turmoil caused by their parent’s divorce. They may feel responsible or worry about hurting their parents’ feelings. It is crucial to ensure that your children know they are not to blame and are still loved and supported by both parents.

Managing Your Feelings and Interactions with Your Ex

Maintaining a civil relationship with your ex-partner can be challenging, but it is essential for the well-being of your children. Please avoid using your children to manipulate your ex, and try to separate your personal feelings from your interactions with them. Focus on your children’s needs and well-being rather than dwelling on past hurts or conflicts.

Communicating with Your Children About the Divorce

It is essential, to be honest with your children about the divorce without overwhelming them with adult problems. They may not understand terms like “irreconcilable differences,” but they can sense tension and conflict. Ensure your children feel comfortable discussing their emotions and concerns with you, and reassure them that both parents love and support them.

Strategies for a Smooth Transition During Divorce

To minimize the impact of divorce on your children, consider implementing the following strategies:

  1. Avoid arguing in front of your children: Keep your disagreements private, and be mindful of your words when your children are nearby.
  2. Refrain from speaking negatively about your ex: This helps prevent your children from developing negative feelings towards one of their parents and maintains their trust in you.
  3. Continue spending time together as a family: Even if you are not physically affectionate, being present at important events and spending time together can help maintain a sense of family.
  4. Share child-rearing responsibilities: Work together to raise your children and ensure that both parents are respected and involved in their lives.

Putting Your Children’s Interests First

Divorcing parents must prioritize their children’s interests and well-being. Although the emotional turmoil of divorce can be overwhelming, focusing on your role as a parent can provide strength and guidance. By maintaining a healthy relationship with your ex and supporting your children through this difficult time, you can help ensure everyone emerges stronger and more resilient.

Remember to keep the lines of communication open and prioritize your children’s needs; you will be better equipped to navigate the challenges of getting along after divorce.


Getting along after divorce requires patience, communication, and a commitment to putting your children’s needs first. By maintaining a civil relationship with your ex-partner, establishing consistent routines and boundaries, and fostering open communication, you can create a positive environment for your children to grow and thrive. Remember, the key to successfully navigating life after divorce is prioritizing your children’s well-being and working together as a team to support their emotional and physical needs.

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