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Taming Fear and Anxiety

We’ve all been there. That gnawing feeling in the pit of your stomach, the racing thoughts, the sleepless nights—fear and anxiety are unwelcome guests in our lives. But what if I told you that you have the power to kick them to the curb? In this article, I will explain how you can apply your values, identity, and purpose to manage stress and fear from the inside out. Trust me, by the end, you’ll be ready to face your fears with a grin.

Understanding Fear and Anxiety: What’s Really Going On?

Before we jump into the how, let’s tackle the what, what are fear and anxiety?

Fear is your body’s natural response to immediate danger. Think of it as your inner alarm system, shouting, “Hey, watch out!” Anxiety, on the other hand, is a bit sneakier. It’s that nagging feeling of dread or worry about something that might happen in the future. Both are part of our survival instinct, designed to keep us safe. But in today’s world, they often go into overdrive, causing more harm than good.

The Role of Catastrophizing

Ever find yourself imagining the worst-case scenario? Congratulations, you’re catastrophizing! It’s our brain’s way of preparing for the worst, but when it becomes a habit, it can spiral into chronic anxiety.

Imagine you have a big presentation at work. Instead of focusing on your preparation, your mind jumps to every possible disaster: forgetting your notes, your tech failing, your boss hating your ideas. Sound familiar?

The Power of the Present

Here’s a little secret: the future is inherently uncertain. Worrying excessively about it is like trying to predict the weather a year from now—it’s just not practical. Focusing too much on what could go wrong can paralyze you, making it hard to take action.

So, how do we combat this tendency to catastrophize? We are grounding ourselves in the present and using our values, identity, and purpose as anchors.

Values: Your Personal Compass

Values are like the North Star in the night sky of your life. They guide your decisions, actions, and reactions. But here’s the kicker: they’re deeply personal. What matters to you might not matter to your neighbor, and that’s perfectly okay.

Identifying Your Core Values

To harness the power of your values, you first need to identify them. This isn’t a one-size-fits-all process. Here are a few steps to get you started:

  • Reflect on past experiences: Think about times when you felt truly happy and fulfilled. What were you doing? Who were you with? What values were you honoring in those moments?
  • Consider your role models: Who do you admire and why? The qualities you respect in others can provide clues to your values.
  • Write it down: Make a list of your top values. Don’t overthink it—jot down whatever comes to mind.

Applying Your Values to Overcome Fear

Once you’ve identified your values, it’s time to put them to work. Let’s say one of your core values is integrity. When faced with a fearful situation, ask yourself, “How can I act with integrity here?” This shifts your focus from fear to action, grounded in what matters most to you.

Identity: Knowing Who You Are

Your identity is your sense of self, the narrative you tell about who you are. Your experiences, beliefs, and values shape it. When you have a strong sense of identity, you’re better equipped to handle stress and anxiety because you know what you stand for.

Crafting Your Identity Story

To strengthen your sense of identity, start by crafting your identity story. This isn’t just about listing your achievements—it’s about understanding the core of who you are.

  • Identify key life moments: Reflect on pivotal moments in your life. How have they shaped you?
  • Understand your strengths and weaknesses: Embrace both. Your weaknesses don’t define you, but acknowledging them makes you stronger.
  • Create a personal mantra: This short, powerful statement encapsulates your identity. It could be something like, “I am resilient and capable,” or my personal favorite (you can steal this), “This too shall pass!”

Using Identity to Manage Anxiety

When anxiety strikes, tap into your identity story. Remind yourself of who you are and what you’ve overcome. This builds resilience and gives you the strength to face your fears head-on.

Purpose: The Why Behind Your Actions

Purpose is the driving force behind your actions. It’s what gets you out of bed in the morning. When you have a clear sense of purpose, you’re more motivated and less likely to be derailed by fear and anxiety.

Discovering Your Purpose

Finding your purpose isn’t always straightforward, but it’s worth the effort. Here’s how to start:

  • Reflect on what you love: What activities make you lose track of time? What issues are you passionate about?
  • Consider your impact: How do you want to make a difference in the world? Your purpose often lies at the intersection of your passions and the needs of others.
  • Ask yourself why: Keep asking why until you reach your purpose’s core. It’s like peeling an onion—each layer brings you closer to the center.

Aligning Actions with Purpose

Once you’ve identified your purpose, align your actions with it. When faced with anxiety-inducing situations, ask yourself, “How does this align with my purpose?” This shifts your focus from fear to fulfillment, making it easier to take action.

Practical Strategies for Managing Fear and Anxiety

Now that we’ve covered the theory let’s get practical. Here are some strategies to manage fear and anxiety using your values, identity, and purpose.

Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness is all about being present in the moment. It helps you step back from your thoughts and observe them without judgment. Meditation is a great way to practice mindfulness and reduce anxiety.

  • Start small: Even five minutes a day can make a difference.
  • Focus on your breath: Pay attention to the sensation of breathing. This anchors you in the present moment.
  • Observe your thoughts: Notice your thoughts without getting caught up in them. Imagine them as clouds passing by.


Journaling is a powerful tool for self-reflection. It helps you process your thoughts and feelings, making identifying and challenging negative patterns easier.

  • Write regularly: Set aside time each day to journal.
  • Be honest: Don’t censor yourself. This is your safe space.
  • Reflect on your values, identity, and purpose: Use your journal to explore these themes and how they relate to your experiences.

Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations are statements that challenge negative thoughts. They can help rewire your brain to focus on the positive.

  • Create personalized affirmations: Use your values, identity, and purpose to craft affirmations that resonate with you.
  • Repeat them daily: Consistency is key. Say your affirmations out loud each day.

Physical Activity

Exercise is a natural stress reliever. It releases endorphins, which boost your mood and reduce anxiety.

  • Find an activity you enjoy: Whether running, yoga, or dancing, the key is to make it fun.
  • Incorporate movement into your routine: Even short bursts of activity can make a difference.

The Future: A Balancing Act

As we’ve discussed, focusing too much on the future can fuel anxiety. But that doesn’t mean you should ignore it entirely. The key is to find a balance.

Planning with Purpose

When planning for the future, keep your purpose in mind. This helps you stay grounded and focused on what truly matters.

  • Set realistic goals: Break your goals down into manageable steps.
  • Stay flexible: Life is unpredictable. Be open to adjusting your plans as needed.
  • Celebrate progress: Acknowledge your achievements along the way.

Embracing Uncertainty

Uncertainty is a part of life. Embracing it can reduce anxiety and open up new possibilities.

  • Practice acceptance: Acknowledge what you can’t control and focus on what you can.
  • Cultivate curiosity: Approach uncertainty with curiosity instead of fear. Ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?”

Conclusion: Living a Fearless Life

Overcoming fear and anxiety isn’t about eliminating them—it’s about learning to manage them healthily. By applying your values, identity, and purpose, you can build a solid foundation to face whatever life throws at you.

Remember, you have the power to shape your reality. Focus on the present, stay true to your values, embrace your identity, and live purposefully. The future is uncertain, but you’re ready to tackle it head-on with these tools.

It’s no coincidence that my suggested strategies hinge on your ability to align with your authentic self. Not only has it been my secret sauce for success and well-being, it’s the basis for my entire coaching practice. If you struggle with (or rolled your eyes at) any of these topics, I beg you to reach out through a FREE Strategy Call and ask for help.

So, what are you waiting for? It’s time to embrace your inner warrior and conquer fear and anxiety from the inside out. You’ve got this!

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