25 Jun FAQ #9: Self Care
Welcome. Today we’re going to talk about Self-Care.
So on our countdown for the top ten most frequently asked questions about the Pursuit of Identity and Purpose today coming in at number nine is self-care.
It’s a little bit of a catch-22 how it made it on the list because the reality is most of the clients and the people that I talk to don’t ask about self-care very often, but what I have to do is recommend and prescribe self-care to almost everyone that I have talked with.
So, typically people are on either end of a spectrum. Most of the super-macho guys out there think that self-care is really touchy-feely and it’s not something that they need to do and then people on the other end of the spectrum are so enthralled and so engaged with caring for others that they often overlook their own needs.
So, again it becomes a prescription basically for taking care of ourselves, and really if you think about self-care in the right frame of mind you’ll realize that taking care of yourself allows you to be a better service to others.
So, real quickly we’re gonna talk about what self-care is, what it isn’t, at least in my opinion, my perspective on those things, why it’s important, and then give you a couple of examples of things you might think to do.
So, when most people think about self-care they probably get an image of someone wrapped in a really plush robe with some cucumbers on their eyes being tended to by people in a spa and for some people that might be exactly what self-care is, taking that time off, going off for a day to a spa somewhere and just not having to worry about anything.
That’s a fairly decent description for some people but for other people, myself included, that isn’t very attractive to me, I mean I never say no to a massage don’t get me wrong, but the idea of taking that much time away just to sit there and let someone else fuss over me, that just doesn’t fit my personality style, more importantly, it doesn’t fit my values.
So, the first lesson in self-care is your definition and your description and your activities that surround your self-care regime have to be values-based. Which means for me one of my values, just off the top of my head, is adventure. I want to have adventure in my life and that takes on a bunch of different looks and a bunch of different executions if you will, but for me, anything that involves adventure or excitement is one of my personal values so when I get a chance to do those adventurous things that really recharges me and I really feel great afterward.
So, how I apply that value to my self-care is when I plan and schedule my self-care activities I try to find something that has a little bit of adventure, so my vacations are the same way, I’m not the type to go sit on a beach somewhere idle, that’s not my idea of a fun rejuvenating vacation because I have that strong need for adventure.
So, when I scheduled my self-care Sundays, which is when I do that, I like to have an event I like to go and hike that’s actually one of the best ways, that I have found, to recharge myself recenter myself, and you know, kind of feed my soul, if you will, which is really the purpose behind self-care. Again, giving yourself the opportunity to be a better service to others means taking care of yourself first.
So, a couple of things when you’re trying to decide what to do for yourself a couple of things to consider.
I strongly recommend that your self-care is time that you spend alone. Anytime we involve anyone else we get distracted, and the purpose of self-care is, think of it as emotional sleep, it gives your emotional self a chance to just kind of completely unplug and only focus on yourself.
Even if you go on a walk with someone else, which might be completely wonderful and enjoyable and you really look forward to taking your evening walks with someone, a friend or spouse or whatever, those might be a great walk but that doesn’t really qualify as self-care if you’re involved in listening to that other person’s needs and kind of tending to them and taking the direction that they want to take, and walking at the pace that they want to walk at, do you see what I’m getting at here? It takes the self-care component out of that and it becomes a task, even if it’s a task that you enjoy.
So, first and foremost I would say when you’re planning your self-care activities think of something that you can truly do alone so that you can really concentrate on your needs and really get inside your own head.
Then think about when, so I am very much a morning person, I really enjoy, like I mentioned before, that hike, I like to do that as soon as the sun comes up partially because my normal body temperature is about 150 degrees, so I like to get in my activities early in the morning while it’s still cool during the day.
But I really enjoy the morning, I always have so that time of day is as important to me as the activity so I have an activity that I really love at a time of day that I really love.
Now another component to consider is where, so I strongly recommend that any of your self-care time be spent in nature as much as possible. If it’s the garden in your backyard, fantastic, if it’s your front porch surrounded by a bunch of potted plants that’s great too, watch the birds, listen to the bugs, whatever.
But ‘where’ is very important if you are energized and recharged at the beach then take the time, drive yourself down to the beach at the time of day that you most enjoy at sunrise or sunset, or in the middle of the day, whatever.
So, what you like to do, when you like to do it, where you like to do it those are all things to consider.
Then consider that you really need to schedule that: don’t wait. Far too many people wait until they are completely burned out and really exhausted and then, and only then, do they take steps to worry about themselves and take care of themselves, your self-care and your need for self-care is really a barometer for your overall well-being.
If you schedule your self-care activities, take my #selfcaresundays as an example, I don’t spend the entire day just thinking about myself, but I make sure there is at least one really self-focused activity or self-focused thing that I do on Sundays and I make sure that at least on Sundays I do something and I don’t wait until I’m burned out and completely exhausted to do those things. I plan ahead, I make sure its a part of my daily routine just like sleep, just like food, just like exercise, taking care of yourself is a very, very important part of becoming your true self and finding your true identity.
So, I hope this was helpful for you, if you have questions, of course, hit me in the comments and as always you can find me at https://therealcharlesbrowne.com/ and don’t forget to go ahead and subscribe to this channel so that you can get the rest of the videos about this topic.
Okay, take care