Since we’re getting vulnerable here…
My name is Charlie. I’m a certified peak performance coach as well as one of Dr. Robert Glover’s certified No More Mr. Nice Guy coaches. While I’ve managed to carve out quite a pleasant existence for myself, I’ve been seriously lonely and scared. For most of my life, I felt unworthy of love.
I grew up on an emotional roller coaster, with one parent drowning in depression and addiction while the other battled anxiety and panic attacks from a lifetime of sexual and emotional abuse. Both were locked in a cycle of repeated abuse, trying to raise a family without Oprah.
Needless to say, my emotional needs weren’t a very high priority, and my adolescent brain started to believe that those needs weren’t being met because I didn’t deserve them. So, I withdrew. I went numb. I lived between the lines, trying not to call attention to myself. I put up walls. I became unapproachable.
If I didn’t talk to you at that party or networking event or in the hallway, it’s not because I thought you were beneath me but because I was taught that whatever I needed wasn’t important. I didn’t think you’d be interested. I didn’t think I’d have anything to offer you.
If I looked perfect from the outside, it’s because I felt so ugly and small inside. Maybe if I made the outside look perfect, I’d be worthy of your time.
I remember the exact moment when I broke through my pain.
The first time I looked into my daughter’s eyes, before she even knew I was her father, I knew I would never let her grow up the way I did, and I vowed to protect her (and eventually her brother) from the kind of loneliness I experienced.
I’ve broken a lot of cycles in my life in an attempt to not pass them on to the next generation.
Back in 2012, as I watched my father’s choices narrow by the day, I instinctively understood that the choices he’d made years prior were bearing fruit. Or in this case, not bearing fruit. Addiction made those choices for him.
So, as I sat sanctimoniously at my computer for close to ten months searching for a ‘job’ I realized that the circumstances of my life were, inescapably, the result of my own doing, just like I’d decided his were.
And what’s worse, is that for the life of me I couldn’t figure out what I wanted. What would make me happy. Who I wanted to be. Almost fifty and no closer to those answers than I was when I ran away and joined the Navy right out of high school.
But, I did know some stuff. I had begun to understand what made a business successful. And what made successful people happy.
But the most important thing I knew is that none of it: success, happiness, purpose was external. We’re born with absolutely everything we need to love and be loved, to be successful and happy. Only our choices cause deviation.
I’ve coached a LOT of people who are asking the same questions I once asked myself. Who am I? What do I want? What am I good at? What’s my passion?
Let me help you find the answers. Schedule a free breakthrough session.